Into the Depths
by Belle Charzar 19
Summary: What if Percy fell into Tartarus... alone? What could happen? This is my take on this trope plus exploring a darker aspect of the possibilities of Gabe's abuse, if this is disturbing to you, please don't read. Read if you want, rating is just to be safe.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: Before I forget, DO NOT OWN (sadly).**

Into the Depths

I saw a beautiful sight descending toward me, a giant Greek trireme with several people aboard as I stood with Reyna, Frank, and Hazel in my purple praetor toga over my old tatty orange camp shirt. I smile softly as I see a poof of smoke aboard the ship in the air. A few minutes of watching the stationary ship while Romans fill the court yard finally gives way to seeing a rope ladder being lowered. I start walking forward to see who will be first down. I start walking a little faster once I notice that someone is now on the ladder. I see a mop of curly blonder hair, "Annabeth!" I shout across the court yard as I'm now sprinting in that direction. I make it to the base of the ladder when she's just a bit off the ground. She quickly climbs the rest of the way down, and I pull her into my arms for a hug burying my face in her messy hair.

"You really remember me?" she whispers breathlessly into my neck after a few minutes as I just continue to breathe her in.

I pull back a bit to look her in the eyes, "I never forgot you. Even Hera could never make me forget you." I pause because I hear a small gasp. Apparently, the rest of her crew has come to the ground. Also, Frank, Hazel, and Reyna have come close. I kiss her forehead and then place my forehead against hers and breathe onto her lips, "I love you, Wise Girl."

She blushes vibrantly, "I love you too, Seaweed Brain." She whispers quietly. Then she pulls me in just a little more for a whirlwind, earth shaking kiss. Then all of sudden, I'm being judo-flipped and.. yep. I'm on the ground on my back with Annabeth straddling my hips with her forearm across my neck. I notice her eyes are watering. "D-don't you EVER do anything like that again! You had me worried sick!" Her eyes are blazing with anger that I know is actually just a maelstrom of emotions.

I tilt my head sideways, bring a hand up, brush her hair out of her face, and answer, "I missed you too." She pulls me up by my shirt for a rougher passionate kiss. Once we break apart, I say, "Can you get up now or do you want to stay right where you are on me?" with a smirk. Her face absolutely flames, and she scrambles up really fast.

"Shut up, Kelp for Brains. Gods, I forgot how annoying you are." She says with a fiery blush and a tiny smile while purposely not looking at me. I get up and ruffle her hair to which she gives a small glare and elbows my side. I just smile at her, and she smiles back as the blonde dude she came with starts talking with a faint blush on his face.

After having Coach Hedge shoot ballistae at the Italian parking lot that Nico insisted hid Annabeth from our view. Eventually, I see an ivory and gold statue come into view. I decide I want to get down there and jump on the swinging rope ladder climbing swiftly to the bottom. I hear a beautiful sound, "Percy?" from the cavern as I get to the bottom.

I turn so fast that my foot catches on the ladder, and I trip, twisting my ankle a bit. I land hard on the ground and pop back up really fast. "Hey. Just a sec." I walk over to her and pull her shaking form into my arms, walk as far away from the edge as possible, and murmur, "We're together. We're alive, and we're together." She sighs contently into my shoulder when all of a sudden, she's being yanked out of my arms. I manage to keep a hold on her and slide tumble behind her towards the gaping pit in the ground. I scream over the wind, "The stuff! Your ankle! Cut the stuff!" as I pass my sword up to her. We're still sliding fast, but she gets it cut right as my thighs hit the edge so the top half of my body is dangling over the pit with her cradled between my knees in front of me, her head on my shoulder looking into the pit. I say slowly, "Get up very slowly, and we should be fine." She nods terrified and starts inching back off of me. She's on her knees, getting up slowly when I feel the support under my thighs crumbling. I lift my hands swiftly to her shoulders and shove as hard as possible back away from me. I try to jump up and bash my knee against the edge as I fall. I throw my hands out to the wall with a shout (it hurts because they're torn up from being dragged across the ground), and my hand finds the lip 5 feet below where I just was. There's no way I can get back up. I look up desperately into her eyes as she's crying. I see that Nico has caught up with her and is restraining her from jumping after me with a tormented look on his face. "Annabeth, I love you! Nico!" His eyes meet mine, "The other side! Promise me! Bring them there! I'll meet you there!" he nods shakily, "We'll be together again." I shout up as the lip crumbles. I feel tears stream on my face as I see Annabeth nod shakily. Then, I plummet into the depths to a scream of anguish from above me.

I don't know how long I fell. Time is… hard to tell when there is no light. It could have been minutes, hours, or days and I wouldn't know the difference. I suddenly feel a presence of water below me and call it up to me with all the strength I have left. I don't want to be a Percy-pancake. I remember the rivers from listening to Annabeth: fire that heals, one of sorrow that makes people suicidal, the one of anguish, the Styx, and the Lethe. Okay, so I don't remember all the names, sue me. I remember all the important information. I wonder which one I am pulling up to meet me. Then, I meet the water and feel as though I've been frozen. _What is the point of living? What is the point of being all alone? You're a failure. You're step-father was correct about you. Useless piece of trash, you should sink into our depths with us. What is the point of living as a failure? _I force myself to concentrate on Annabeth and Nico's faces of sorrow as I plummeted. This allows me to focus enough to force the water from my skin. I wade through the viscous water to the black bank and crawl out and feel sharp pain everywhere touching the ground. Great. The ground is glass. Like I needed that. I take a deep breath to refocus and become light-headed. Sulfur. Great. Maybe I should go back in the water? No, doors. Got to get to the doors. I force myself up and slump, limping wearily down hill. I don't have the strength to go up-hill right now. Wait, my sword could be used as a crutch if nothing else. I can- I don't have my sword. Right, I let her borrow it. Why didn't it return to me? Oh right, this is my luck. I sigh deeply and limp forward seemingly endlessly until I stand at the edge of a set of cliffs and see a streak of red far below me. Could this be water? It's red… Fire. There's a river of fire whose Greek name means "to heal"… Best shot. Let's go. I climb (more like stumble) down the cliff at a snail's pace trying not to plummet to my death (again).

I finally make it to the edge and feel the blisters from the sulfurous air begin to pop from the overbearing heat. I finally fall to my knees at the edge and look at my torn up hands. A few more marks can't make it too much worse. I dip my hands in the fire water. Maybe the fire water won't burn me since it's kind of water? It's like there was someone laughing in my face, "NOPE!" It was a searing burning feeling. I ignore the pain and do something stupid. I drink fire water. I immediately feel bile rise and force it down while every last one of my lovely new blisters that hadn't yet popped, popped in sync with a wave of agony. I crumple and almost fall into the water when I finally feel just a sliver of strength returning to me. My ankle, hands, and other minor injuries don't seem to hurt as much. I stretch my fingers, spicy yet… doable. I find the water bottle in my cargo shorts and fill it with fire water in case I get separated from the river anytime soon. For now, my best chance at survival seems to be following the river. I get up and start trekking into the lurking darkness far ahead since "Doors of Death" doesn't exactly sound very sunshine-y and rainbows.

I was doing fine until the hell hounds found me. Not like I can really hide in this plain, but still. They have me surrounded and in desperation I reach out with my senses closing my eyes desperate for some sort of water when I feel a source, no several sources all around me. I pull this water to me to try to use it when all of a sudden all of the hell hounds combust into gold dust simultaneously. How did that happen? I don't even feel the water source any more? Wait… was… was it their blood? I- That's horrifying, but I lived. I then trudge ahead ever onward drinking the fire water every couple hundred yards. I walk on and on and on. I feel as though I should sleep, but where could I sleep here in Tartarus? No. Surely, if I fell asleep, I'd die because something would ambush me. Just keep going.

I go for what feels like a long time and notice that I'm very hungry. The fire water is sustaining but not filling. That's just great. I keep trudging onward, ever onward. I run into gaggles monsters every so often and have gotten used to pulling on the blood in their veins since I still have no weapon with which to fight them with. Then I am grabbed by a cheerleader and thrown over her shoulder while she cackles, "She will like to have this morsel!"

My hands are pinned under me, and she's moving fast. I see the line of red disappear in the distance before I can even begin to wriggle my hands free enough to take her out. When I finally do, I pull at her blood, and she drops me. Hard. She screeches as I continue concentrating to pull with all my might, and she finally explodes in an angry cloud of gold. I cough and look around. I see no trail of which way we came from or any hint as to where I should go. This is hopeless! Keep going. I decide to just spin with my finger out and walk whichever way my finger points. I go for several more miles, trying to keep my pants up. I have no idea how long I've been here, but apparently, it's enough to where I've lost weight and my pants are loose. My shirt is in tatters from all the monster fights and dripping blood because the fire water makes me able to continue. It doesn't actually get rid of the wounds or left over blood. I decide to tear my shirt to use as a new belt; it works even if it looks weird. I trudge forward for miles, executing monsters on my way and taking tiny sips of my fire water from the bottle to stay alive. I can't even drink freely any more since I don't know where the river is any more.

I keep trudging when I see a line of black snaking through the valley below. It's a constant downward trudge, lower and lower into the darkness. I decide to head to the black streak. It may be a river. What if it's the Styx? It's a few miles ahead, but I can probably stay alive until I reach it. I start the continual descent again and notice that the attacks are definitely more frequent now. Great. Deeper I go, more dangerous. I pray to whatever gods can possibly hear me that the river in the distance is the Styx like I thought. I trudge onward and realize time must be very different. I haven't slept yet, but I can tell my hair is longer and I've lost a significant amount of weight. Basically, all that's left are the muscles from the oh-so-frequent monster attacks. This is concerning because who knows how long I've actually been here witnessing these horrors? What if I'm going insane? I shake my head to clear these thoughts and keep going. I make it to the edge of the riverbank and can see my reflection in it. It's definitely worse than I feared. I look like a skeleton with skin and wirey muscles. My hair falls below my chin in length now but is so congealed with blood that I didn't notice how long it had gotten.

It was definitely the Styx though. Nasty things were hidden in the depths soggier than in the Underworld like they'd been in there awhile. I took a deep breath and thought about Annabeth. I walk into the horrid water and face-plant again. Desperately clinging to thoughts of Annabeth. I see the world flash before my eyes. Everyone will die. It is hopeless. No! Annabeth! I feel a sharp tug like a line is poking out of my skin between my shoulder blades since this seems like a protect-able area. I reach up to take her hand and pull myself up to her smiling face and instead break the surface of the Styx and remember with crushing clarity where I actually am.

No use moping. Just keep going. I look at my reflection in the murky surface and my wounds were all freeze-healed, so they all looked like scars. At least they're not open any more. I have a multitude of scars littering my body from all periods of life, why not add more? I sigh and move on. I trudge, fight, and sip my fire water which now just tastes hot; it doesn't burn me anymore. That's nice. I finally see a building with a caduceus at the top. No way! A shrine? Here? I go inside and find scraps of food and scarf it all down greedily. I am still hungry by the time it's all gone. I quickly fall asleep due to being full. Bad mistake. I have horrible nightmares of my friends being overtaken in battle because I can't find the Doors. I wake up to someone shaking me.

"Percy! Friend! Wake up!"

I groggily wake up and stare at the titan in front of me, "Iapetus?"

"No, I am Bob. Though, that does sound familiar… No matter! You need to get up and go! Far! You are being chased!"

I stare at him and make a quick decision that I know could prove to be fatal, but I don't want to lie to him. "Bob, I need to tell you the truth. You are a titan. You were named Iapetus the Piercer, and you tried to kill me. I-I used the Lythe to wipe your memories and renamed you Bob. I am not a good friend to you."

His silver eyes widen, then water, "But you are friend. You told me dangerous truth. I-I choose to remain Bob even though I remember my old self now. We need to go!" I jump up and start running. He follows and quickly overtakes, leading me onward. Eventually, he turns around, tosses me over his shoulder and sprints hard out of that area as I hear a loud distant bellow.

"PERSEUS JACKSON! I CAN SMELL THE SEA ON YOU!"

"That's-"

"Yes, but you don't want to say his name down here." Bob says seriously as he sprints with me over his shoulder like a hitch hiker's bag.

"Okay." We eventually stop running, and he sets me on the ground. "How did you get here?"

"I jumped. I felt that my friend was in trouble and decided to help and jumped."

"Thank you." he nods absently.

"Where are we going?"

"Doors of Death. This is where Nico was trying to go. You need to go there too, right?"

"Yes, that's true." I follow in silence for a long while. Strangely, there are no attacks while we're on our way. Maybe because of Bob here. We both stop when we hear a thunderous sound from just ahead in the fog. Then it comes closer and jumps at us. It's a tiny kitten! We decide to keep it and name it Small Bob. We trudge forward without words and come to a cove of trees with bat-ladies swirling around.

"We are the arai! The curses!" We start attacking them as a team, and Bob isn't affected by the birds. Every time I implode one, I feel small impacts. I'm glad I have Achilles blessing right now or this would hurt. A lot, I'd wager. Finally, we're getting to the last one when I'm overcome with a searing, burning feeling charring my insides. "That will be the gorgon's blo-" is the last thing I hear as my vision turns dark.

I wake up in the Giant Damasen's cave wrapped in blankets, lying on a feather bed. He heals me and declines my request that he join me to the Doors of Death to change his fate. He gives me an over the shoulder bag that has some random flowers for healing I think, a drakon bone sword, and a canteen of drakon stew since I ate so much of his. He also ties my hair back with some of his loose flowers after making the matting not as bad. He has no water, so the blood is still in my hair, it's just spread out instead of in congealed blobs all over. Lovely. I feel like the flower child of death or something with all the flowers added to the gore on my person. I don't protest anyway. We leave Damasen to what he thinks is his eternal duty.

Bob and I walk on, and suddenly, he's gone and I'm staring at an old sobbing woman sitting on the ground. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Okay?!" she screeches, "I am Misery! Of course I am not 'okay'!"

"Alright… can you provide me with Death Mist then, so I can exit through the Doors of Death?"

"What!? Impertinent child! My Death Mist is only for the dying! Those dying in misery! Not for whelps who think they can traipse up to me and ask whatever they wish!"

I raise an eyebrow, "Okay, then you must not be as powerful as Bob said. I will call him back, and we will find another method."

"No! I am powerful! No one else can give you Death Mist, ever!" she looks pained, "Fine, bring me to my flowers in the garden I will show you, and I will give you the Death Mist. You torture me, young hero." She turns and follow shrugging to myself. It's likely a trap, but hey, it's my only chance. We walk further into the thick fog until we come to another chasm. She laughs maniacally, "I will kill you, young hero! You have my Death Mist now because you are about to die!" She grins crazily, and I see a sea of poison making its way toward me across the ground.

Thinking fast, I retort, "Well, that was a lame trap. Totally could have seen that coming. I bet any of your siblings could have done a better trap than that!"

The poison stops in its tracks as Misery stares at me uncomprehendingly. "So! You think you are better than my child?" a new booming female voice says from the darkness. The darkness solidifies into the form of a tall woman atop a horse. "Would you do better than she does? I am Nyx, now answer me boy!"

I stare dumbfounded until she yells at me to answer, "Yes! I could! Her tricks of Misery are some of the worst I've ever seen! Poison death? Faced it! "Scary" fog? Over and done with!" I scramble for fake confidence in the face of Lady Night.

"Well…" she pets her horse in thought, "Prove you are better, then! Take her out!"

I gulp, crap. How can one take out a goddess? Misery glares at me and begins to send the poison in my direction again. It licks at my toes through my worn shoes, and I actually feel it. Gods, this sucks. It moves like a sea rising around me- wait. A sea? Water? That could never…. I pull at the poison, and it responds. I push it back towards her and also pull at the ichor in her veins like with the monsters before. "See! Much more miserable! Your own blood is fighting you, and you're being overwhelmed with poison!" I cry out and see a triumphant gleam in Nyx's eye as Misery screams in agony and her blood finally expels out of her covering me in golden ichor splatters from head to toe.

"You have proven yourself. Step forward, and you will be the god of Misery from now until forever."

"Er- Lady Night? I, no offense, I have a quest I need to finish. I can't be a god anyway because this girl-"

"I sense this is not the first time you have been offered godhood? Yet, you turn it down. Again. Who is this girl? Tell me about her." She gets down from her horse and makes chairs and a table appear from thin air, gesturing for me to sit in one the chairs.

I gulp, "Um, her name is Annabeth Marie Chase. She's a daughter of Athena. She's strong, kind, smart, and loves me. We've been side by side since we were 12. She lights up my whole world with joy…" I continue for a long time.

When I'm done, Nyx just whispers, "Such a love, I've never witnessed. Fine, you do not need to be a god, dear one. Take my blessing with you. It will lend you aid and make you more unstoppable to your foes, god-killer." I nod, and she takes my arm and burns a new mark on me. "This is my symbol. You will be my champion. The only champion I have ever claimed. You are good as my son to whoever asks, okay? I know you will die, and at that point, I will offer godhood to you again, but I fear you will not take me up on it. I will memorialize you forever in the House of Night. Walk through with eyes wide open to seal our relation. Live. I will be watching." She points to an large mansion just below the edge of the chasm and disappears.

I take a deep breath to steady myself. I look at the mark on my arm; it looks like a mini-mansion outlined in black with a dark purple accent laced through. I go to the House of Night and walk through. Taking everything in. It's a new level of dark, and it takes awhile for my eyes to adjust. I see her children lurking in every corner, luring me with sights of such horror. From the past, scenes I never could have imagined of torture. From my life, of moments where I was the terrifying one murdering my foes. I then walk through a long hall of mirrors that show my every darkness inside written in inky letters somehow darker than the dark of the room. _Self harming_. _Distrusting_. _Tortured_. _Unforgiving_. And so on, giving me chills due to the depth of understanding this house seems to have of me. I then continue going and see a giant black heart that's pounding so hard it shakes the floor with purple veins running through. I can feel it trying to pull me in and force myself to the doorway on the opposite side.

The light hurts my eyes as I come back to the reddish world of Tartarus. A river below me screams at me that I should join them because I'm a murderer just like them. Horrible torturer, just like them. That I deserve a fate, just. Like. Them. I jump over the River of Torture I'm guessing, and Bob catches up to me. He stops about 3 feet away and goes on one knee. "Hail, Champion of Night, Perseus Dillon James Jackson." Bob cries out with a loud voice. He gets up and wraps me in a hug, "You made a friend! This is good! You still have Death Mist! This is also good!"

"Err- hi Bob. To the Doors, then?" He nods and leads the way. We come up on a huge crowd of monsters around a small set of elevator doors. I hide in Bob's footsteps as we make our way through the crowd. I get the back and am about to slice one half of the doors anchors when I get blasted to my rear.

"HAHAHAHAHahahaha! A mortal form feels nice! I am Tartarus! Primordial of the Pit! I have not taken form for anyone else, mortal. I have watched your progress, steadily. You've lived in and on me for almost a year to your puny body, but still! You live! Remarkable! You cannot be allowed to continue however, even if you are the Champion of Night!" a large red-purple ripped dude yells over the crowd after absorbing the two titans guarding the doors.

"I will not let you harm my friend!" Bob cries and charges. Before he makes it half way, we hear a distant battle cry and see the drakon being ridden by Damasen charge in for battle.

"You wanted me to be a fighter? How about I start with you!" Damasen cries throwing a giant drakon bone at Tartarus. Thankfully, this distracts him. I cut through the chains and jump in front of the elevator, holding it open with my ankle. Bob comes up and fights off the monsters around me and pushes me in the elevator.

"Tell the stars hello for me." He whispers to me as a tear treks down his cheek. "I will miss you, friend." I hug him right before the doors close and then struggle to keep the doors closed.

I fall on my face when the doors open and black out due to the change in lighting being such an adjustment. I wake up to ambrosia being forced down my throat by a shadowy panicky Leo. "Dude. I'm fine. Save it for someone who needs it." I say shoving away the ambrosia. He stares at me startled. "Why are you all misty?"

"Hazel is keeping us alive, but she's losing the battle…"

I jump up and stride over to her battle with my sword out leaving a gaping Leo behind me. Before I can get close, the others charge in ready to fight and take out the guy with Hecate finishing him off. Then, Nico and Hazel shadow travel everyone to the surface. Once we're fully topside, I decide to pipe up.

"Good job, guys!" I say.

They all turn around and hug me as one while crying out, "Percy! You're alive and awake!"

"Yep. Alive alright."

Hazel looks at me with concern, "How long was it for you down there? You look like a ghost."

I rub the back of my head and close my eyes thinking, "I think Tartarus said it was almost a year of time for my body?"

"Wait what-" cried Hazel and Piper.

"a year!" yelled Nico, Annabeth, and Frank.

"Tartarus!" yelled Leo and Jason.

"Yeah…. you heard me right. Tartarus said it was a year to my mortal body. How long was it topside?"

"Only 3 weeks." Nico mumbled staring wide eyed.

Annabeth hugs me again, "I'm so glad you're alive! But, where is your shirt? Where did you get all of these scars?"

I look down and cringe. You really can see all of my scars. "Annabe-"

"No, no platitudes. Why does your chest have these crude words carved into it? These look old! You have 'my man whore', 'mine', and 'Gabriel's property' carved into your skin! Wait… Your stepfather… You called him 'Smelly Gabe'… Gabe as in Gabriel. Did your stepfather do this to you? Why did you never tell me?! Also, what is this?!" she holds up my arm with Nyx's mark.

I can't look her in the eye, so I mumble, "I made a friend of Lady Night and am now her only champion in the history of ever because she liked our love story."

"Percy… but was it your stepfather?"

"My shirt is being used as a belt and was bandages before I found the Styx." I whisper to the ground as the rest of the group is staring at me in silent horror. I turn and start heading to the boat to get a shirt.

I am interrupted from my thoughts by Annabeth, "Seriously! Tell me where you got those scars! There's another on your back!"

"I am not ready to talk about them, hence my clear avoidance." I call over my shoulder and keep walking.

"Tell me, Percy, tell me!"

I stop and turn back toward her, "I'm not ready to face the demons of my past." I gesture at my chest and over my shoulder to my back. I look her in the eye and ask sincerely, "Please let it go for now. I may one day be ready to talk about it, but not right now. Please respect my request to drop it." I nod and turn back around.

"Perseus Dillon James Jackson! Tell me right now, or-or we're through!"

I stop, "Fine then." I hear a deep sigh from behind me, "We're through."

I hear a sharp intake of breath, "What? I thought you loved me! Why won't you tell me?!"

I turn back around swiftly and look her in the eyes, "I do love you, more than pretty much anything else in the world. I just went through Tartarus for you, but I asked for a respect of privacy. I'm not ready to think about the demons of my past much less talk about them. I asked that you let it go, and you obviously don't care enough to go with this simple request. Then, you threaten our relationship over it? Obviously, our relationship isn't as valuable to you as it is to me. I can't do this anymore. You treat me like I'm just your stupid, loyal bitch. I'm no one's bitch, and I'm done. We're through." She gapes at me.

Then she storms towards me. I close my eyes to her pain. She yells, "You coward! You can't even tell me this one little thing!" She punctuates this with punches to my chest and shoulders. "If you loved me, you would tell me everything!" She slaps my face, and this continues for awhile. I just have my hands limp by my sides as she wails on me, calling me names. Eventually, she just starts crying into my chest. I raise my hands to her back in comfort and turn my face to look at the sea in the distance. It's roiling with my emotions. Still, I say nothing. "Why are you so good to me?"

I close my eyes again, "I still love you. That's why. I just can't do this anymore."

She sniffles and nods then pulls away, and I hear her walk to the boat. I plop down and stare at my hands. Our other friends were just staring frozen in shock. Nico walks over and plops on the sand next to me, and I mutter, "Not what you expected, huh?"

He chuckles nervously as he bumps my shoulder, "Not exactly." Our other friends slowly just sit in the sand close by lending support to me. We sit for awhile watching the sunset. Nico eventually states with full authority in his voice, "You know, you're not a coward at all right? That took guts; I mean standing up for yourself like that." He smiles at me, "You're pretty brave, Percy."


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: Before I forget, DO NOT OWN (sadly).**

**Okay, so it's kind of funny, right before writing this chapter, I finished writing a chapter for a different story and in that one, it was all like, yay holding hands and sweetness, then I come write this one with all the emotional trauma of Percy just from Tartarus alone for a year. lol It just struck me as odd how extremely different the 2 chapters I've written today are.**

Into the Depths

I look over at Nico, "Thanks man." Then look back out to sea.

Piper says, "I think... just give her time. Seeing you... like this, has to be hard on her. You look... well, you look terrifying. Your hair is filthy, long, littered with flowers, and obviously coated in blood. You have these horrible scars that no one's ever seen on you before, plus new ones. You have some odd golden liquid splattered over your chest, and you look like a skeleton with skin and a tiny bit of muscle. I know that you've been through something horrible, and I'm not excusing her actions at all, but this is a bit much."

I have to force myself to stay calm. As I struggle to keep it down, I fail to notice that the sea starts crashing violently around us, soaking everyone else to the bone as we sit on the beach. I don't even notice that I've pulled the clouds lower from the force of water inside them. I keep looking into the sea trying to force a calm onto myself, so I refuse to say anything. I'm not sure how long this continue before I feel a heat coming from nearby and react on instinct. It reminds me of the heat from the river of fire. I don't want the reminder and have a violent reaction of pinning down the heat source. I don't notice that I've pulled the rain from the clouds to put out the fire as the rest of our Argo II crew stares at me in shock until my eyes finally focus on Leo's terrified ones from under my arm. I stare at him confused for a moment before I shake my head and let him up. I look away with a wince as he breathes roughly; I've obviously accidentally injured him. "Sorry, Leo, I..." I put my head in between my knees. "I- The heat- it- it..." I raise my head and look at Leo desperately because I can't find the words. He looks terrified but slowly his face morphs into a kind of understanding and leans forward to slowly put his hand on my shoulder in a comforting manner.

"There's some sort of heat in Tartarus, right?" He asks hoarsely. I nod slowly. "You... were in danger because of it?" I shake my head no. He looks confused and sits back on his heels, withdrawing his hand.

Nico chimes in, "Was the heat source the River Phlegethon?" I nod again. He looks at me obviously pondering something before he looks like he has a startling and horrifying revelation, "You- Did you drink it?!" I close my eyes and nod before turning back to the sea. He and Hazel both let out strangled gasps.

"What?" Jason and Frank say.

"What is that?" Piper asks.

"What does that mean?" Leo asks.

Hazel takes a deep breath before saying, "It-it's a river of fire in Tartarus that can keep you alive, but it also gives the pain of burning everything it touches without causing lasting damage. It's- The damned in the underworld are forced to drink it to prolong their torture. It's a bare survival. It doesn't keep you full or healthy, just alive. Whatever injuries you obtain stay unhealed. It doesn't quench thirst. It just... keeps you alive while you constantly have a sensation of being burned alive. I personally don't even want to imagine that feeling at all."

Leo pauses taking in this information before he slowly gets out, "So... to finally be free... and then to have a reminder of the heat... in whatever form... would be horrifying." He takes a deep breath before putting his hand back on my shoulder, "I understand buddy. Er- not really, but I can imagine. No I can't actually, um, not sure what to say, but, we're good, Perce." I crack a grin at him, and he breathes a sigh of relief.

I croak out, "We should get going. We still have a quest to finish." Everyone looks uncertain, so I stand and make my way to the ship. I can feel the hesitation in them, but they all join me. We get through everything. Once Gaea is finally gone, Annabeth joins me as I sit on the dock at the lake.

"I'm sorry Percy." She whispers. I nod without looking at her. "I really am; you have no idea how happy I am that you made it out. I-I was stupid and pushy. I'm-I'll be here whenever you are ready to talk about... everything." I nod again. She sits for a few minutes expectantly before leaving with an exhausted huff.

I slide off into the water and sink to the bottom. I haven't talked to anyone about... anything since we all talked about the fire river. Now, Leo's missing, Gaea's dead, and I can't seem to talk to Annabeth. I'm not sure what to do. I've already forgiven her, but I don't trust that she won't press. She always presses until she gets what she wants. I'm not at all ready to talk about any of it, but I miss her. Hell, I went through the deepest depths of hell for her. I know everyone is concerned. They've only heard me speak when we've been in the middle of a fight, and I'm giving orders to go through with a preset plan. I didn't even say anything to my Father when I saw him, even though I could tell he wanted me to talk to him. It's just that everyone looks at me with pity and fear; yes, I even saw both in my Father's face. I want to be alone. Now that it's all over, why am I still here? I shake myself. I can't keep letting these thoughts into my head.

I recline back into the lakebed under me. What should I do? I don't even know if anyone has noticed that I have the blessing of Achilles... again. No one even knows how invulnerable I am. I peer through the water to the sky and see that night has fallen now and realize that I've been here for a few hours. I don't want to leave the water; no one will look at me with fear or pity here. No one will purposefully avoid my eyes here. No one can avoid me here as I avoid everyone altogether. No one knows what to say to me. Nico just looks sad when he sees me; I'm glad he's found Will. He needs a little sunshine. I think... I want to go home. I suddenly sit up straight, Mom."

How the hell did I forget about her? She's probably worried sick! I wonder if anyone told her I went into Tartarus. I wonder if anyone told her I made it out! I've been selfish. It's been 2 weeks since Gaea was destroyed, and I've just now remembered her. I'll go to her tomorrow. I doubt anyone will try to stop me; it's been whispered around camp that I'm a god-killer because Hedge immediately recognized the ichor splattered over my chest for what it was and let everyone know in a terrified screech. The whole crew refused to make eye contact with me for a few days after that.

They don't even know how I killed her. No one has been brave enough to ask. No one has been brave enough to ask how I lived even with the fire water. No one has been brave enough to ask anything since that day. I watch the sky until it begins to dawn because I haven't been able to sleep unless I've literally hit my limit since before Tartarus. I rise out of the water, still dry and ignore the people that I can hear scamper away from me. I head to the border and walk out without trying to hide. I decide to take the long way and walk back to Mom's apartment in the city. It takes me until after the stars have come back out to get there. I stop once I see the apartment building just across the street and just stare at it. How long has it been? I'm not even sure.

Time stolen. I don't even know what I'll say to her. Or Paul. I look down at myself and wince. I haven't cut my hair, and I haven't eaten much and am still extremely skinny. It seems that my stomach shrunk due to the length of time without eating. I hope she doesn't worry too much. I reach my hand up and feel the flowers that I placed back into it. It seems that Damasen's flowers are eternal because they haven't died yet. No one, but Piper, has even mentioned them at all; it just goes to show how scared they all are of me. They make me feel better and help me remember Damasen. I lower my hand and take a deep, fortifying breath before crossing the street. As I cross, I notice that it's raining. I'm not wet of course and decide to stay dry instead of letting it make me wet.

I go up the outside stairs so that I can avoid all the other inhabitants who will no doubt be avoiding the rain by utilizing the inside stairs. I finally get up to our floor and enter through the hall's side door. I make my way to our door and stop just outside with my fist raised to knock. I'm frozen for a few minutes before I finally force myself to knock tentatively. I immediately lower my hand back down.

Through the door, I can hear Paul call out with the sound gets louder as he is obviously walking closer, "Sally, were you expecting anyone?"

"No honey!"

"Alright!" He calls back to her, still louder before almost whispering to himself, "I wonder who it could be?" I wait in silence for another moment before he's flinging the door open with a shocked, whispered cry of, "Percy?!"

I nod, "Hey Paul." I manage. He's just standing there staring at me in shock.

He whispers, wide eyed, "We thought... we thought you were dead." I wince then we both startle as we hear Mom.

"Paul? Who's at the door?" We both just stare at each other, me in shock because I thought they knew I was alive, and him I can only guess at not knowing what to say, without answering her. We hear her huff and come closer. I hear something crash into the floor.

I look up quickly and make eye contact with my Mom who looks dazed. I manage a weak smile, and then she's running to me. She nearly knocks Paul over before he smartly moves out of the way. She's hugging me so tight that I can barely breathe, but I decide not to say anything and just slowly bring my arms up to hug her back. After a moment's hesitation, I rub small circles into her back to ease her sobs as I close my eyes, forcing myself to calm down.

I realize in this moment that this is the first time anyone's hugged me in awhile. Once her sobbing de-escalates, I croak, "Hey Mom, I missed you." She lets out an almost broken sounding sob, and I wince as she clutches me tighter.

Paul clears his throat, "We should move inside, dear." I feel her nod against me before she pulls back but keeps a firm grip on my hand as she pulls me inside, like she's afraid that I'll disappear if she lets go of me. She guides me to the couch and sits next to me. Paul sits on the armchair facing us. "Alright-"

Mom cuts him off, "I'm so glad you're okay, Percy." She locks eyes with me before she tilts her head to the side and her face takes on a heartbroken tinge again as she whispers in a strained, pained voice, "You're not okay. You're not at all okay, are you?" I try to nod, but my eyes betray me and tears fall down my face.

She pulls me to her with a determined look. She rubs my back as I cry like a child into her shirt but without the sound. "No. I-I'm not okay."

I can feel her tears on my hair and decide to let it get damp. We just sit there holding each other without anymore words for quite some time, even after we both stop crying. I can't bring myself to move, and it seems that she can't either. "You don't have to be strong anymore." She whispers, kissing the top of my head. My shoulders relax at this. I eventually fall asleep without hassle for the first time in some time.

The next thing I know, someone touched my shoulder. I act on instinct and pin this person to the floor without seeing them. I can only see a creature of Tartarus, and I scream, "How did you sneak up on me? HUH?!" I wait on the creature's response for just a moment before I realize that it isn't responding. I remember that I'm not in Tartarus any more. I shake myself and finally see my Mom looking panicked. My eyes widen in horror before I spring off of her and back up until I hit the wall. I'm still staring at her, and I realize that her mouth is moving. I can't hear her and am more panicked. I pull me knees up to my chest, bury my face in them, wrap my arms around them so tightly I can feel the pull on my muscles, and rock. After a few minutes, I still can't hear anything but my own heartbeat and a high pitched ringing, when a shadow passes over me. I jerk my head up and stare wildly up at the source of the shadow. I see my Mom again, and she's still talking.

I realize that I should be able to hear her. I try to say, but I think I scream it, "I can't hear you! Stop! Leave me alone!" before burying my face again. I sit against the wall for an indeterminate amount of time before the ringing recedes. Slowly, I can hear other sounds. The first one that I can identify is the clock ticking. Then, I can tell it's voices, but I can't make out who or what they're saying. I take deep steadying breaths. After some more time, I can tell it's Paul and Mom. They're concerned. I still can't quite tell what exactly they're saying, but I decide that I need to help them. I slowly stand up and make my over to them. They're both leaning against the kitchen counter, facing the opposite way. Once I'm close, I say, "I'm sorry." and look at the floor.

I can tell by their shadows that they both give a startled jump. "P-Percy?" My Mom says with a nervous tremor in her voice. My shoulders sink in disappointment; she's scared of me now, too. I nod tightly. She doesn't come over to me. "Can you hear me now?" I nod again, still refusing to look at her.

"Good! What was that?!" Paul yells at me, and I can tell by the shadows that he's placed himself in between Mom and I. My shoulders fall even further. Paul grabs my shoulders and shakes me roughly before yelling in my face, "WHAT. WAS. THAT?" I turn my face to the side to avoid his wrath as I try to keep my calm.

"PAUL! STOP!"

"NO! HE ALMOST CHOKED YOU! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN HURT, SALLY!"

"HE-"

I interrupt and look at him, "She wouldn't have been choked." He stares at me incredulously before he opens his mouth to yell again. I speak before he can, "I thought... When I woke up, I thought I was back in Tartarus." I close my eyes tightly for a moment before saying. "I'm sorry I panicked, for a moment, I really thought I was back there." He looks like he's going to say something, so I raise my hand to stop him. "However, even given that, I have never choked an enemy, so she would not have been choked." I sigh, rubbing the bridge of my nose as they both stare at me. "I was waiting for the creature that I saw in my mind to answer my question because I was panicked. I have not been... No one, creature or otherwise has been able to sneak up on me since that time I fell asleep there; I've been too on edge." They just keep staring at me, and I can tell that they're still scared and wary. I sit on the floor and put my face in my hands. I can't cry anymore. "Please! Please don't be afraid of me!" I cry out brokenly. "I can't take it if you are afraid of me too!"

I hear feet shuffle across the floor and then bones pop as someone crouches in front of me. I tense in anticipation of anything. My Mom hesitatingly rubs my hair, and I relax into her hand instantly. "Alright, Percy. I'll... I'll try to not be afraid anymore." I look up at her in shock. She gives me a sideways smile before giving a brittle laugh, "Just, you've got to tell me things that I can't do. Obviously, waking you up is one of them. Is there anything else you can think of?"

I stare at her unseeing for a moment before I say, "I don't- well, yesterday, when you suddenly grabbed me, I... I um... I had to fight off a wave of panic, so maybe... give some warning before touching me? I can't think of- oh wait, also, please don't... um... bring anything potentially burn causing near me? Like.. like a lit match or anything."

Mom looks nervous as she asks, "W-why?" I wince and shake my head. "Alright, I-I won't push. It's lunch time now, are you hungry?"

"No, I'm really not." I say as I stand with her.

I see Paul shake his head, "Sorry I yelled at you, kiddo; you just... really startled me. I'll really try to not be afraid of you; I know you'd never intentionally harm either of us." He reaches like he's going to pull me in for a hug before he seems to remember, "Can I give you a hug now, Perce?" I smile and go to him, giving him a hug. He returns it and lets out a big breath. "I was worried about you too, kiddo. Glad that you're- well, alive, even if you're not okay right now." He pulls back and nudges my chin softly with his knuckle, "Eventually you'll be okay, Perce. Until then, you've always got us." He then lets go and walks to the table. I sit with them, and Mom puts a plate in front of me.

I look up at her, confused; hadn't I said I wasn't hungry? She interprets my expression correctly and inhales sharply before saying, "I thought you were joking. You-you're normally always hungry. I-"

"I'm sorry; it's just, to me, I was in... Tartarus for a year." They both breathe in sharply at the same time and look horror-stricken and confused. "It was only 3 weeks top side apparently, but... my body thought it was a year. I... I only ate twice my whole time down there. I ate a pack of M&M's from Hermes's shrine that somehow fell down there, and a friendly Giant fed me a bowl of drakon stew after I almost died of gorgon's blood."

"How- what- why- when- what-" My Mom mumbles in horror.

I rub the back of my neck, "I need to explain further for you to stop panicking don't I?" She nods. "Except, I'm not actually sure if the explanation will help." She whimpers. "Sorry, now that I'm actually talking, my filter is limited. Well... er the gorgon's blood was a curse that I got after I killed an arai. An arai is apparently a harpy-like bird thing that resides in Tartarus. Every time you kill or hurt someone (namely a monster) topside, their dying wish of revenge goes to the arai. If you find the arai, they will attack you and try to kill you themselves, but if you kill them, then you get the curse from that they are representing. Does that make sense?" They both nod shakily. "Well, there was a blind dude on the West Coast named Phineas that I gambled with." I wince. "You see, he was addicted to gambling. He had information we needed, but the price he wanted us to pay for it wasn't one we wanted to pay. You see, he wanted to have a certain harpy within reach of himself. We couldn't just give the innocent harpy to him, so we tried to come up with another plan when the harpy, named Ella, told us that he was addicted to gambling. It's because he's a seer, but he can't see quick gambles of chance so it thrills him to take the chance. I had some bottles from a gorgon I'd killed on my way to New Rome. One was a bottle that would heal you of anything, and the other was one that would kill you, painfully. I decided that I would gamble with him. The gamble was each of us drinks a bottle. I set the terms as he wrote down the information we needed, and if he died, we read the paper and protected the harpy. If I died, my friends would leave him alone and not get the information." I pause and grab my Mom's hand in to reassure her before continuing, "I didn't know which bottle was which even," she squeezes my hand tightly, "and I let him smell each bottle and feel each first. I took this gamble because that big baddie that we just destroyed to weeks ago, Gaea? Well, I was going off the hunch from the dreams I'd been having that she wanted me alive because she wanted to use my blood to raise herself from her sleep." She squeezes even harder. "I was right, and Phineas died, allowing us to have the information to be able to succeed in our quest, but apparently, he cursed me with his final breath to die in the same way. When I killed the arai representing his curse, I blacked out. I-I would be dead if..." I look away from her desperate eyes.

"You would have died if what?! If what, Percy?!" She demands.

"If I hadn't gotten the Blessing (or curse) of Achilles again." She sits back in shock and tears gather in her eyes. "Oh, I guess you didn't even know how I didn't have it. Well, um, to get into New Rome, I had to cross the Little Tiber, and it took away my Blessing."

"Was it painful?" She whispers.

My shoulders slump; I can't lie to her. I cringe as I say, "Yeah. It hurt. It-It felt the same as when I got Blessed. Like every single one of my nerve endings was exploding. So.. anyway, when I woke up from my blacking out, I found I was in a hut with a friendly Titan and a friendly Giant. The Titan was one that I had fought before and wiped his memory. When he first found me down there, he called me friend and said that he'd come because he's sensed that his friend was in danger. I-I couldn't lie to him. I told him what I'd done, and honestly, I'm still surprised that he decided to not kill me then or even just decide to leave me to die to the Giant that was hunting me because of who my Dad is. He is a good friend." My eyes water, and I'm embarrassed that tears trickle down my face, "S-so Bob the friendly Titan had taken gorgon-blood poisoned me to a Giant who was apparently just friendly all around to heal me. The giant's name is Damasen; he's the opposite to Aries which is why he's friendly." I chuckle and wipe away some tears, ignoring the fact that they're still falling. "He healed me and fed me. Later, when I found the Doors of Death, he jumped at the fully formed Tartarus to keep his attention away from me." My tears are blurring my vision now, and my voice shakes, "Bob held the button for the elevator for me to go up. Th-they both sacrificed themselves... for me. Tartarus himself told me that he was extremely impressed that a half blood had survived this long, and that I should be proud of myself because he's apparently not taken on a bodily form since the Giants were born. He said I should be proud that he deemed me worthy to try to kill me personally himself with his hands. I also became the first ever Champion of Lady Night while I was down there, and I walked through the Mansion of Darkness with my eyes wide open. Please... don't interrupt now. I'm not proud of how I got this... this accolade. I-I fell into Tartarus because I pushed myself behind Annabeth when she was being dragged in. I... I gave her my sword to cut off the lines dragging her into the Pit. Once we were done being dragged... the floor caved under me. I pushed Annabeth to safety, and she still had more sword. It-it didn't come back to me. The first time I got attacked, it was by hellhounds. I was delirious with pain and weaponless... I was so, so, so desperate to survive. You have to understand!" I stand up suddenly and pace as I continue. "I-I closed my eyes and searched for a water source. When I found one, I pulled it to me without even thinking about it. Then all of a sudden I was showered... in both blood and hellhound dust. I-I'm a monster. I-I pulled the very blood out of their veins as they were attacking me." I look at my hands in disgust, still pacing. "Then, towards the end of my time in Tartarus, Bob brought me to the Goddess of Misery. He had to leave, but he told me I needed to get her Death Mist. I talked to her, and she refused to help me. I decided to play on her pride and taunted her saying that basically she must not be as powerful as I heard or she wouldn't have a problem giving a mere half-blood the Death Mist. After some of this, she told me she'd give it to me if I came with her. Fully knowing that it was a trap and that she'd likely try to kill me, I went with her because she was my only way of getting past the horde at the Doors. When we got to where she wanted, she tried to be all like 'Ha! I tricked you! This was a trap!' I just was like, 'Well duh it's a trap, stupid.'" At this my Mom gives a tight laugh. "Then Lady Night, Nyx showed up and basically told us both to prove to her that we were better than the other. Sh-she then sent poison at me. It was coming on me like a sea. I remember thinking that pretty much exactly. Then, I focused on the word sea, and I think I laughed a bit like a crazy person and sent the poison back to her. Then, I realized that I could feel her blood too and-" I sit down heavily, "and I ripped the ichor out of her body. Ichor is the blood of the gods, in case you didn't know. I was covered in the stuff, practically dripping with it. Then Nyx offered that I become a god. I declined, and she demanded why. I told her that I had to get back to Annabeth. Sh-she then had me tell her all about her. At the end, she named me her Champion." I take a deep, shaky breath, "After I went through the doors, I helped my friends defeat the vortex dude and when we got topside, Annabeth flipped out and demanded I tell her everything. I-I couldn't talk about it yet. I was... in a very, very bad place. I wasn't actually certain if I was happy to be alive or if I wished I had died. She also demanded to know about my other scars... you see I had to tear my shirt up during my time there to use as bandages, a belt, and a splint. So... she could all my scars Mom." I make eye contact with her. "All of them." She gasps again.

"I'm so sorry!"

I shake my head and am about to continue when Paul says, "Wait, what scars? What am I missing here?" I wince and take off my shirt. He blanches as he looks over them. He looks horrified as he shakily says, "Ar-are those from... your first Step-Father?" I nod. His eyes water, and he whispers, "I-I'm so sorry, Perce. No wonder it took you so long to trust me." I let out a bitter laugh.

"Yeah. Anyway, I was in no shape to talk about those either, so when she threatened our relationship if I wouldn't tell her about all of them, I decided to end it." I close my eyes in pain. "I-I can't handle it. I-I love her like no one else, but that... that was just too much. If I'm not ready... I'm not ready. I feel like a major jerkwad for dumping her, but at the same time, I-I don't deserve that kind of treatment. After thinking about it, sh-she may be toxic for me. She's always been pushy of my boundaries and made me talk about things before I'm comfortable. She came to after everything and apologized, but... I think... I think it's too late. Too little too late for us and the truly sad part? Or should I say the pathetic part? The thing that hurts me the most of everything..." I put my head on the table. "Is losing her. Even though it was my choice, and I can logically see that it's a good decision for me. I-I- DAMNIT!" I slam my fist down on the table. "My memory was wiped, and the only thing, the only thing I remembered at first was her name! I remembered her face and name before I remembered my own name! My own name eluded me, but hers! Stuck! In! My! Head! After a flipping goddess wiped my memory, I can't forget her! DAMNIT DAMNIT DAMNIT!" I breathe heavily for a moment before continuing. "Also, not once, but twice, getting the Blessing of Achilles, she's the face I pictured as being my reason for wanting to live and not give in to the water's power. She's the thought that gave me the willpower to climb out of the River of Despair in the depths of Tartarus. I literally fell into the deepest depths of hell that no other demigod has ever survived more than a day inside for her! I fought for over a year to get back to her. TWO TIMES! TWO TIMES I've been offered the position of a god, and both times, I'VE TURNED IT DOWN BECAUSE I LOVE HER." My Mom is staring at me wide eyed again as I make eye contact. "I love her, Mom." Her eyes squeeze tightly shut. "I'm so, so angry, but I love her. I can't stop it, and I want to! I don't want to love her anymore! I don't want to care! Mom," I wait until she opens her eyes again, "I-I don't know what to do anymore."

She takes my other hand. "First off, you can stop making it rain in the apartment." She chuckles trying to lighten the atmosphere. It works, and I focus on that and fix the issue. "Honey, I-I'm sorry. I'm afraid... I'm afraid you get this," she gestures to me, "from me. I... I went through hell- er well, not hell, but a lot for your Dad because I loved him and then I wanted to hate him. I'm willing to bet you want to hate her too?" I nod silently. Her eyes water as she continues, "I wanted to hate him so much, but... I never could. Don't get me wrong, I love Paul, very much." She smiles at him before looking at me again. "But, I never stopped loving your Father. Now, I would never let him be involved with me again, but I will never, ever stop loving him. I-I think... I think you'll be the same with Annabeth. I don't think you'll ever stop loving her, but... as long as you tell the next person you fall for about it, you can move on. It'll hurt like a bitch, baby, but you can do it. I'll-I'll be here for you."

"Thanks, Mom."

"Yeah, well, now you've got to eat. Our dinner is going to be cold now, deary. We've all got to eat." At my look she continues, "Nope. You are going to eat at least a quarter of what's on your plate, or I promise I will cry all over again. Man, that's a lame punishment, but it's all I can do now."

I smile weakly and pick up my fork to take a bite. We all eat peacefully, and I stop once I'm at a quarter and have to hold back the urge to barf. Once we're done, Mom encourages me to sleep. I lay and stare at the ceiling until dawn.


End file.
